Straight women like me, I believe -- well, you know, as a friend. What is sad is that I have probably kissed more straight girls than I have queer girls (there have been 5). I think that's pretty sad.

Bisexual women and lesbians, though, don't really like me as more than a friend (if even as a friend). It's a sad story.

But here is a much more amusing story involving a straight man:

Setting: I am standing outside my apartment in the quasi-ghetto. It is a nice afternoon and I am enjoying a cigarette. Octoberish.

A fairly nondescript African American man wanders up to me

Man: Hey, can I have a cigarette?
Me: Sorry, I only brought the one out with me.
Man: Oh, that's okay. So, you got a man?
Me: Uh, no, but I have a girlfriend.
Man: *clearly taken aback* What?
Me: I have a girlfriend.
Man: But I could be, like, your play boyfriend or something.
Me: No thanks.
Man: No? What if we went on a date? Or maybe a weekend trip to the pocanoes?
Me: Here's the thing. I'm in a monogomous relationship -- so we don't go out with other people.
Man: *eyeing me up and down* Damn, with a body like that -- that's a waste.
Me: My girlfriend doesn't think so.
Man: They say that white women can't have bodies like black women, but they can. Sometimes even better!

And that's where things end. I made a believer out of him.

It's true -- I have a ghetto booty. I kind of don't like that term, but it best describes the junk in my trunk.
While most people who, you know, design jeans and pants aren't really in favor of it...I guess some people like it.

If you enjoy a very round, fairly large yet surprisingly firm derriere -- my heinie is the one you've been dreaming of!