As it stands, I am set to graduate in May.

Class work is kind of out of control right now. That’s not really my point, though. My point is that the students here are ridiculously predictable.

Now, this university has two campuses in two different boroughs of New York. I attend classes at the Graduate School of Education, which is on the smaller campus (located in Manhattan). There are a few undergraduates here (mostly in art/drama/dance) as well as law students and MBAs. Then there are some other students…but Grads in Education, Law and Business are the predominant people you see on our wee campus.

At any rate, you can pretty much predict who is in what major by how he or she acts. Yes, I realize I’m being a stereotyper (which will make the experience about which I am going to write seem kind of…hypocritical) but know what? Fuck you. The MBA students here act like complete tools.

During my class tonight, I pretended like I was going to go to the bathroom and really I went outside to smoke. I do this weekly.

As I stood outside, puffing and shivering, I tried to ignore the ridiculous prattle of a group of MBAs (3 young men, 1 gal), but when I heard the words “You’re a lesbian!” my ears perked up.

They accused the girl of being a lesbian. She responded with “Ew!” Then they accused her of being a bisexual and she responded with “Just because I hang out with so-and-so…”
My curiosity was piqued.

Then one of the guys said “Man, I don’t get lesbians.”

Uh – what’s to get? Sometimes girls like to kiss other girls. Sometimes they fall in love with them. It’s really not that complex!

Another guy offered this completely untrue fact: “Lesbians don’t hang out with men.”

Yeah…that’s right. Because we hate the penis SO MUCH that mere proximity to one might cause us to combust. We’re all man-haters. I guess I should notify my male friends that we can’t hang out anymore.

And then the third guy claimed that he was into lesbians because they like to have ménage a trois. With a male as the third party. And he wanted to share that he’d had one such experience.

Uh…nope. Lesbians pretty much just want to have sex with women. Sorry, pal. But, of course, we do engage in sexual activity for your benefit. All about you.

Then all four engaged in more banter in which they covered
a. How lesbians act
b. How lesbians look
c. Where lesbians are
d. Who lesbians hang out with

It was one of the most offensive things I have heard in quite some time.

And I was totally fucking floored.

Since this is a Jesuit institution, I shouldn’t be surprised that homophobia this blatant exists in the student body. But I am.

What if these four Ambercrombie-clad yuppies-to-be had been talking about African American people in such a way? Or Jewish people? Seriously!

And they were aware of my presence. I guess because I do not fit their convenient-for-me lesbian image they assumed that I was straight. Or else they’re even bigger dicks than I thought.

I know that we have freedom of speech and all that jazz and that it’s a private, religiously-affiliated institution but still…I think I should have the right to feel safe on my own campus.

I guess it’s just sad.