Yesterday she came in after weeks upon weeks of absence.

She lost the baby.

I cannot imagine what it is like to lose a child* and I am sure that it made her very sad. It must have been traumatic. I have to say, though, that I breathed a sigh of relief for her future. For now, anyway.

Today I stood outside my work, having a smoke during one of my prep periods. Three of my former students exited the building.

I like all three of these kids. Though none of them are particularly brilliant and none of them did exceptionally well in my class (one has severe problems with expressing himself through written language & the other two are at or slightly above average ability, I'd say), they all seem to possess a certain maturity that many of the students in my place of employment do not.

They're all very into Japanese culture (I'm not sure what, if anything, to make of that) and ignore the rowdier classmates who command so much attention. They can communicate with adults and can generally speak articulately.

As I put out my cigarette, I chided them, "Shouldn't you be in class or something right now?"

One of them -- a girl who last year told me that I was her muse -- placed her hand over her stomach and said, I have an appointment to go to.

I looked at her stomach. It was the kind of round that comes with child, not overly processed food.

"What is this?" I asked.

I proceeded to learn the following:

1. She is due in September
2. She was afraid to tell me because she didn't know how I'd take it.

I'm not taking it well.

--

*Although I cannot confirm this, I think I may have miscarried once in college. You know, back when I was straight. My period came about two months late -- and it was the most disgusting one ever. Lots of clotting.

Maybe it was just heavy because of the skipped months. I don't know.

It was a relief, though.